Why I Stopped Waxing and Shaving

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I will never forget the first time I received a Brazilian wax. I won’t forget it because it hurt like a motha effin biatch. My feet were put in stirrups, the same ones that pregnant women put their feet in right before they give birth. My vajayjay and tush were completely exposed to a woman not in the medical field, which was just weird. Nah, the only job this woman had was to make me “sexy.” During the wax, she tried to talk to me about the weather and other bullshit in an effort to distract me from the pain…it didn’t work. When she was finished, I looked down to find a blood-red, bald vagina with tiny pieces of wax still present, a few little stray hairs still randomly sticking out, and tiny spots of blood. The wax lady informed me I could use a tweezer the get the stray hairs and that the swelling would subside in a few hours. I thought to myself, “This is what all the hype is about? What the fuck? This is sexy?” I told myself I would never get waxed again; I figured even shaving was better than this hell.

However, inspite of this rather traumatic experience, once I showered and the swelling went down, I kind of liked how I looked being waxed. Not only did I like it, I liked it a hell of a lot more than when I shaved. Shaving is counter-productive. Your peach only stays smooth for a day, after that, you have a prickly, stubbly, itchy, irritated vag and it’s so not cute.

I figured, I could endure the torture again if it meant I could have the vagina of a playboy bunny, but there had to be a less painful way. I did some research. And then I ordered numbing cream.

The next time I went to the wax studio, I was prepared. I applied numbing cream beforehand and took an 800 milligram Ibuprofen before the “procedure”.  The problem with numbing cream is, you can only do the outside of your vagina, so though the pain wasn’t as bad as the first time, it was still a bitch. However, I continued to get waxed every 4 weeks for about two years. I even added my armpits to my waxing game. I had the application of my numbing cream as well as the perfect timing to take ibuprofen, down to a science.  And still, each time it came time for my wax appointment, I became anxious and couldn’t wait for it to be over. But, I didn’t care because the second I started growing hair back, the faster I wanted it gone. By this point, I had become quite accustomed to being hairless and there was no way I was going to be seen with hair anywhere on my body, other than my head.

Over time, waxing did get easier, especially thanks to my handy dandy numbing cream. But then, something happened… I started getting a weird sensation from the numbing cream; my girly parts started randomly feeling numb on days I wasn’t using the cream. This scared the shit out of me. So, I stopped using the cream but continued to get waxed without it.

I was moving and due to go to Sweden very soon. Through moving, working crazy hours and getting family goodbyes in, I simply had no time to get waxed before I left. I was hairy and freaking out, but time simply wouldn’t allow me to get “sexified.” My boyfriend had told me many times that he didn’t care whether I got waxed or not, that I didn’t have to endure the pain for him. By this time, we had been together for almost a year, he loved me, so I figured, “Ok well he’s just going to have to deal with it this time. I’ll find someone to wax me when I get to Sweden.”

(Though, I didn’t get a Brazilian before I started my journey across the world, I did manage to talk my brother into waxing my armpits with his girlfriend’s at-home wax kit before my departure. A hairy vagina was one thing, but hairy armpits were another. He did a pretty good job. With that, I was off to Sweden.)

The tiny village I stayed at in Sweden lacked a waxing studio…along with a lot of other amenities. So my waxing appointment would have to be put on hold for a bit.

Then something unexpected happened. After being with my hairy kitty for a few weeks, I started to like it. Now, I must also mention, that I am currently on my journey to learning to love myself fully. And by this time, I had already stopped wearing makeup and was embracing my natural curly locks(the locks on my head, that is). But even so, it came as a surprise that not only had I started to embrace my vagina in its natural state, I actually started loving it…and even more than when it was waxed. I looked at it and I felt sexy. Sexy as fuck in fact. Not long after I felt this, my boyfriend admitted that he too liked it more natural. He called it “womanly.”

And then, something crazier happened. The hair under my armpits started growing back…and I didn’t quite give a fuck. I thought, “I may never wax or shave my armpits again.” Needless to say, that thought was one I never thought I would have.

So, what the hell changed?

During this journey, I asked a lot of questions.

If I feel sexy, why should I care what anyone else thinks?

Why shouldn’t I feel sexy in my natural body?

Why the bloody hell should I have to wax or shave?

Men grow hair on their balls and under their arms, why aren’t they expected to wax or shave?

Why are women expected to be hairless?

Do women in Europe wax or shave? Is this an American thing? Just what the hell is going on?

Is it really sexier to have your vagina look the way it looked when you were a child?(And who decided that?)

A lot of porn features hairless women, is that why it’s considered sexy?And hello, they so photoshop those chicks.

What has the porn industry done for the world anyway?

Women grow hair for a reason, why should I mess with what Mother Nature intended?

Who am I putting my body through torture for? For men? For my own vanity? For what exactly?

Does this make me a feminist? What is a feminist anyway? And why is feminism looked down on? Isn’t feminism just a movement put in place to give women equal rights?
Well shit, women have the right to be women, don’t they? And women grow hair in all the same places men do. If men can be men, women can be women.

The way I see it, leaving my body in the way it was intended makes me nothing but a woman. So yea, fuck it, having hair is womanly.

I got used to seeing my body in it’s natural element and I began to love it. This perception came through self love and acceptance. And I am so grateful that it did. Because now  I never have to sit through someone ripping the hair from my perfectly beautiful body again.

P.S. I do trim. I respect that nobody likes hair in their food 😉

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33 thoughts on “Why I Stopped Waxing and Shaving

  1. Love your wax strory. I can say that we wax as much as you do over the pond..😀. I prefer shaving… I only wax my brows. Do not have the guts to wax my vajayjay or legs😂. So I must say I love Gillette😂😂. Big hugs from norway

  2. Hi Brittany,
    Congrats on your liberation.
    I never liked hairless vaginas.
    Like you said, it doesn’t looks womanly.
    So good for you (and your boyfriend)!
    BTW: A moustache on a woman I don’t consider very womanly. Although I know a guy who finds that sexy as well 😀

  3. And do you know there is a religion called Sikhism that advocates no hair removal exactly because it is God’s artwork on you, and he couldn’t sure have gone all that wrong with women’s body hair! I embrace all that nature has to give to me: my body hair, my greying head and my other physical aspects. Of course, obesity is one exception which needs to be addressed more because of health reasons than cosmetic ones!
    Thanks for the wonderful piece, Britt!

      1. Yeah, Britt! You going the right way to motivate so many other girls around.

        But I really couldn’t get that bit: Trimming because nobody likes hair in your food?

        I don’t trim and I do cook daily for my hubby and 3-year old. I have had no such incident reported by my family of finding hair in their food!

  4. Awesome post! Just wondering since you’ve stopped shaving your legs and your armpits do you find yourself covering up more? I just recently stopped shaving for all of the reasons, but I am finding it hard to have the confidence to wear shorts or sleeveless shirts this hasent been much of a problem yet but since summer is coming I fear that I am just going to resort to shaving, even though I hate it and its pointless and it prohibits me from fully accepting my natural beauty.

    1. @Morag
      Hello beautiful brave one!! If only I had your courage during my prom days 😀

      I also find myself wondering how the summer will be for me. The hair on my legs isn’t very noticeable but my armpit hair certainly is. But here’s the thing, since I wrote this post I have learned a few things.

      First of all, the fact that you understand the message behind not shaving is leaps and bounds ahead of most women’s idea of beauty and you should be so proud of that. Your growth is inspiring.

      When I stopped shaving and embracing what is naturally mine, I learned to love myself. I learned to accept myself FULLY. And here’s the thing, that lesson cannot be taken away from me whether I decide to shave in the summer or not. The important thing is the lesson that came from it and how much more I love myself because of it.

      Choosing to shave in the summer will not prohibit you from fully accepting your beauty because you already do fully accept your beauty and you understand that body hair does not define you.

      Recently, I shaved my armpits for a photo shoot. I felt a little insecure that day and wanted to feel comfortable during the shoot. (There is nothing wrong with that btw, we are unlearning years and years of bullshit and it takes time). But when I shaved the hair, I actually felt a little sad, as if I was denying a part of myself. And because I felt sad, I now always leave a little bit of hair there when it comes time for strapless shirts.

      When summer time and prom time comes around, do what you feel like doing. Do what makes you feel good. It is a choice at the end of the day. If you decide to leave your body hair, which is completely ok, prepare for the one of two ways it can go: Either people will be inspired by your fearlessness or people will have negative things to say, or a little bit of both. If you don’t feel ready to face that, it is totally ok. I don’t always feel ready to face it and it all depends on the environment I am in. If you decide to go without body hair, that is completely ok too! Choosing to go with it can be very liberating but do it when you feel ready.

      Be proud of yourself for how brave you have already been. And continue to love yourself fully- every single aspect of who you are.

      Here’s a link to a photo that made me think of you.
      blob:https%3A//mail.google.com/d81805be-958f-4b62-a5cd-0bf0af23e70e

      Thank you so much for your comment. The most beautiful love and light to you.

  5. Awesome post! Just wondering, since you’ve started not shaving your legs and underarms have you found yourself covering up more? I just recently started not shaving for all of the reasons and I am finding it really hard to have the confidence to wear shorts or sleeveless tops. It hasent been much of a problem yet but with summer coming up I am afraid that I am just going to shave to be socially acceptable even though I hate it and its pointless. I also have prom coming up… Is it possible to rock body hair and a formal dress?

    1. Oh wow! Thank you and so many blessings to you! Ive actually been meaning to write a follow up to this post. Now you’ve inspired me to get on it. Thank you, Thank You! I’ll be sure to check out your page too! Muchas gracias por mostrar amor 🙂

  6. Great story I think women who are natural are much sexier then a shaved woman, wish more women had your bravery to be natural.

  7. I’m a married man in his early thirties. I’m not sure how I stumbled on this blog post, but I just had to say how amazing and courageous and beautiful I found this. You really are an amazing woman and you seem just as beautiful inside as you are out. I never thought I, as a man, who up until now had always preferred women who were smooth and hairless, could see a woman’s body hair as a naturally beautiful thing. After reading this, I started asking myself those same questions you asked yourself and questioning my respect for women. I can honestly say that after seeing it from the perspective that you pointed out, I will never judge a woman with her full natural body hair as being any less sexually attractive looking than a woman who was waxed from the neck down. Now that I think about it, all women are sexy, hairless or not, a woman’s beauty doesn’t disappear because she has hair on her body. It seems this aversion to hair is a learned thing that must be untaught and if it frees women from this burden then I will happily unlearn it. Our society needs to not only teach women to embrace their natural self, but to teach our boys to embrace a woman’s natural beauty as well.

    1. Alan!! Sir Thank You for fully INSPIRING me to update this blog and to get writing again. You so received my message and I am so so appreciative of that. I have been meaning to blog a follow up on this and I was ecstatic to receive your comment in the timing that I did. Your comment means so much to me and I am beyond grateful that you took the time to share your thoughts with me. THANK YOU. Really cant thank you enough. Thank you for inspiring, for listening, and for being open. Soooo much LOVE to YOU!

      1. I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see your response before I submitted an update to my post. What a beautiful response! Thank you so much! I’m so very happy that my reply left such an impression on you and inspired you to post more about the subject, I’m very flattered actually. I have indeed changed my way of thinking as a direct result of your powerfu message and felt the need to share my feelings and with you. I look forward to hearing more from you and learning more and plan to be an active reader/participator of your blog.

  8. One more thing. To any woman apprehensive about people seeing her body hair, please don’t be afraid to wear your favorite dress, short skirt, bikini, etc. Never be ashamed of your body. If you’re that nervous about it, there’s no harm in shaving your legs, but who in the world is going to see your armpits unless you raise your arms, and even then who cares. People will only come to accept something as normal the more and more they see people doing it.

    1. Great video, you look so gorgeous by the way. Ma’am, you really got me thinking as a man, seriously. I like how you challenge me to change and embrace the female gender in ways I didn’t know possible. I used to be one of those guys who shied away from cunnilingus, but I forced myself to acquire a taste for it for my wife’s sake, however, up until now, I’ve only gone down on my wife when she was clean shaven. What kind of message is that sending her? It says I don’t find your vagina attractive when it’s in its natural hairy state and that undoubtedly hurts her confidence. I guess I’ve just been doing it because I didn’t want to man up and eat, it hair and all, and I’ve never had anyone call me out for it, until now that is. I feel inspired by you to not only do it for her, but to do it for me and learn to enjoy it, to truly embrace the full beauty of a woman’s body by putting my money, I mean her pussy, where mouth is.

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