Every day I feel more and more alone. I don’t want to live in this
crumbling world. Too many people walk around as false little ciphers. So
empty. No love. No love for anything, not even themselves. They do shit
they don’t want to do. They put everything into a nice little box and label it whatever the hell they think it is. But there is nothing inside the box.
Nothing. And it is really starting to hurt. Why do people feel the need to
walk around and live completely outside of themselves? They believe
everything they hear and are completely wrapped up in bullshit.
Negativity. I can’t do this anymore. Breathe I say. Just keep breathing.
Don’t let that little ego of yours snap. Just continue to love I say. Oh how
I want to, but oh how much these people have nothing to give back.
Nothing real anyway. We talk about the weather and sports and the
corruptive news and blah blah blah.
But what about the majestic beauty of the trees, the stillness that surrounds us if we stop and listen, the picturesque blue sky and the clouds that dance above our heads, the warm and nurturing sun, the captivating draw of the moon, the awe we feel when look at a flower, or the charismatic rocks that have seen more than we can imagine. The fucking beauty of this world we live in, that too many of us have gone blind to.
The feelings we have. The fucking
feelings we have. The real shit. I’m talking about how our insides are in
turmoil because we are in constant fucking anxiety about all the bullshit
that surrounds our lives. Jobs. Money. Marriage. Family. Why can’t we
just be who the fuck we are? Why do we all have to be the same?
I fucking hate fear and I wish it would go the fuck away. And this trans-
for-fucking-mation I am going through is god damn challenging. My ego
is working hard to keep me confused. And the little fuck keeps telling me I’m doing it wrong. And see this is why I understand why people go
crazy. And get sick. Because see, if you keep listening to those
deceitful thoughts, they will fuck with you beyond your imagination.
“You didn’t meditate today. You didn’t do yoga. You didn’t connect with
nature. Go for a walk lazy. See, you’re doing it all wrong.” And
then I have my god damn ego showing up in a completely different way.
“See how great you are. You meditate. You do yoga. You breathe. You
appreciate nature. See how much better you are than everyone else. See
how much happier you are.” And see, all the while I, and I mean I, as in
me…not that little shit the ego, feels alone. Feels alone in this mind that
refuses to go back to sleep. And though I know I am not, I still feel so.
Because though there are others like me, and I know there are because I
have met them and felt them, I am still walking around in a sleeping
world. A world that is asleep. And so I feel alone.
People are walking around settling for the unfulfilling life they live. This tears me apart. And the most frustrating thing of all is they read this and say “She’s crazy, I’m perfectly happy.” Maybe they are. Maybe I am crazy.Yet, my heart tells me I’m not. I feel EVERYTHING. And it’s driving me
The idea of love and happiness has been contorted into a box of bullshit
that we all think we have to live inside. Fuck that. Be who you want to
be. Divorce that person you don’t want to be with. Quit the job you hate.
Travel to that place you want to go. Stop worrying. Stop settling. Don’t
be afraid to pursue what you love. Don’t be afraid of change. Take
control of your mind and body. CHOOSE happiness. Love others. See
people. Really SEE them for who they are.
Pain for me is the self-destruction too many people in this world inflict
Through self-destruction, we live in a world that is self-destructing.
This is our world which has provided for us and we are destructing it with our false need for power and greed; to please the ego. The ego is that deceiving little shit who is pretending to be you. Because of this egoistic madness, people are blind to their own eternal truth. By truth, I mean, the REAL you, the BEST you, the LOVING you, the passionate you, the fearless you. The you, who doesn’t give a fuck what people think. The you, who puts your happiness first so that you can be
the best for yourself and the people around you. The you, who can and
will take risks for your own happiness. And this you, is quite similar to
the child you once were. Free. You owe your inner child the fearlessness that was stripped away by the robotic systems, in which greedy societies have put into place.
It hurts me that so many people are afraid.
Pain for me is being awake to the fear that surrounds me. Seeing people
blinded from the fog of thoughts that consume their mind. Numbing their
minds with television, poisons and the like. Witnessing a lack of compassion in the hearts of humanity. Recognizing the destruction of our planet as people turn a truly, blind eye. Observing separation led by unacceptance and driven by “mine, mine mine.” Watching people conned by the “systems,” that are intended to keep us in the shadows. People mislead by power and greed.
Heartache for me is looking into the eyes of the ones I love most, and
not quite knowing when, or if they will wake up from the nightmare that
plays inside their head.
“Believe. Create the life you imagine.”