The Adorable Little Man in the Cafe’

God could this music be any more depressing? I came to a coffee shop today to do some work in the hopes of feeling human again. Not working. I’m still miserable, only now I’m surrounded by people who for whatever reason feel the need to talk super loud. It’s also raining, so my view is a cloudy and cold view of other miserable people walking by. At least the food was good. Actually the food wasn’t even that great. It was a baguette made with exceptionally good bread, a little skagenrora (shrimp mayo stuff), and way too much lettuce used to try and cover up the fact that they are seriously skimping on the skagen in their skagenrora sandwich. I get it, shrimp is expensive but damn, can’t they see I need extra today? Instead of a pint of ice cream, skagen and quavers have become my go to.

Shit perhaps staying in my apartment in my robe today would have been a better idea. Thank God I didn’t succeed in talking myself into riding my bike down here. The last thing I need on this miserable day is to be biking home in the cold.

 I stayed in bed til 12 noon today. Simply because there’s not much to get up for these days. I’m sorry but today I am not feeling the whole “find the beauty” campaign. Today, I just want to take a day to be miserable. I can hear Matt Kahn’s voice inside my head making fun of the people who think, “I’m miserable so I am going to be miserable to everyone around me because I refuse to have any kind of fun because I’m miserable.” He says something along those lines. I’m aware that I could change my mind but today I choose not to. I’ll smile at the ladies working at the cafe but without the sun, I find it incredibly hard to find much else to smile about.

Why am I so miserable today? Because I am tired of people being bullshit fake versions of themselves. I’m tired of people. I have been patient and loving for far too long. That’s the entitled ego speaking. This I know. Just let me have this day.

I’m here in Sweden for the millionth time. People back home think I’m this travelling woman and I’ll continue to let them think that. That is unless I decide to publish this blog.

So why Sweden? Oh for a boy. Yea a boy. A boy describes him perfectly.

The “boy” and this life is draining me. The only good things are the fact that I live alone and the beautiful spring days I’ve experienced so far. Sweden really is quite beautiful in the spring. That goes for the land and the people. Although I find it mind boggling how people still can’t find the energy to crack a smile when they walk past someone. A smile goes a long way but more importantly, it says “Hey person walking by, I acknowledge your existence.”

There’s an adorable little man sitting next to me. Alone. The way his lips quiver when he eats is almost as adorable as the piece of melted cheese on his lip. My heart melts for him because I can see the pain in his eyes. Perhaps I’ll shoot him another smile…this time for real.


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